Now I was missing pieces. Maybe if I sat and thought and took a look atmy situation it would come to me. I took a deep breath.Alright, so I was in a waiting room, so I was waiting to see a doctor ofsome kind. The rest of the place was empty and quiet. Nothing lookedstrange or felt out of place. I straightened out my skirt and tried tothink harder. I still had my previous memory although it felt likesomething was on the cusp of my mind. There were vague images flickeringin my mind, and I couldn't quite place them. I was getting frustratedand clenched my fists. My long nails dug into my hand and it hurt. Idon't know why I had to have them so long but I felt like I needed tokeep up an image. That's why i was here afterall. I struggled toremember what I was thinking. Something wasn't right. I was trying toremember who I am. There were memories in my mind that I don't rememberhaving. There was so much conflicting in my head. I was beginning to getdizzy. I brushed my long hair out of my. A snatchof conversation, a laugh.Coffee sounded fine.It was the usual kind of place: a chalkboard with 30 different drinks,- inos and -attos, hissing machines, too-sweet smell of vanilla and ofcinnamon. Too much. I just ordered coffee, snuck in too much sugar --time enough as the day wears on for the bitter kick of black. I like myfirst cup really sweet and always am embarrassed that anyone might see.Sun, fresh coffee, the Times. Look up and see the palms. Perfect.Then, there he was again.This time, he kept quiet. I read -- an election in Italy, an army onmaneuvers, storms and wars and lawsuits filed -- trying, really, tocarefully avoid looking anywhere in his direction. He was at the nexttable, it wasn't very easy. And since I somehow knew that he waswatching me, I'm not sure I was managing the not-looking at him verywell.But this was my time. Words that seem to matter, sweet-edged bite ofcoffee; this was, this is how I assemble myself for the day. I hate toplunge right into a sea.
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